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Catherine Read

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by Catherine Read

A Cup of Water Under My Bed – Daisy Hernandez

A Cup of Water Under My Bed (April 2017) I loved this book for so many reasons. Daisy Hernandez is an American, born here to a Columbian mother and Cuban father. This book is called a memoir, but it’s so much more than that. It’s the chance to see the arc of a life in this country through a different lens. Hernandez is a gifted writer and above all else, the book is beautifully written.

Her book is somewhat chronological starting with her remembered first impressions as a 5 year old child who speaks only Spanish being sent to a Catholic school in Union City, New Jersey. Her coming of age story has many things we consider common experiences, but it’s unfamiliar to those of us who do not understand the culture of her parents and their particular immigrant experience. I marked so many passages that jumped out at me as beautifully articulated thoughts intended to resonate with readers like me – those who want to understand how other people experience the world and how that feels.

“If white people do not get rid of you, it is because they intend to get all of you.

They will only keep you if they can have your mouth, your dreams, your intentions. In the military, they call this a winning hearts-and-minds campaign. In school, they call it ESL. English as a second language.”

Daisy Hernandez works hard in school and has an interest early in her life to be a writer. She earns a scholarship and attends college where she is introduced to feminist studies and meets a diverse group of young people including the first lesbians she has ever met. She is awakened to her own bi-sexuality. This is an important part of her story, but it’s only a part of it. This is an interesting observation about coming to terms with our sexuality:

“Generally speaking, gay people come out of the closet, straight people walk around the closet, and bisexuals have to be told to look for the closet. We are too preoccupied with shifting.”

She has relationships with men, with women and with transmen. This is in the late 1990s when such lifestyles are hardly mainstream. It’s important to know that this community has been there for a long time. Her relationships are important in how she sees the world. It causes her mother great pain and upsets her close relationships with her three aunties. They cannot understand this.

The chapters in her book are shaped by addressing different aspects of her life – she is a Latina, she is bi-sexual, the first in her family to go to college. When she gets a summer internship at The New York Times on the editorial board, a colleague remarks she is probably the first person to ever work on that board whose parents don’t speak English. She notices how little diversity there is at the Times, not just racially, ethnically and gender-wise but people who are of a different socio-economic status from the one her family is in. “We belong to a community based in part on the fact that we are all doing somewhat badly.”

She talks about learning of a concept in high school her teacher calls “Keeping up with the Joneses.”

“It takes years for me to understand that the Joneses happen in houses where people cook in one room and eat in another. The Joneses do not happen in places where people are called white trash and spics, welfare queens and illegals, and no one asks the Joneses if they are collecting.”Read More

Filed Under: Blogging, Good Books, Women Tagged With: Daisy Hernandez, Feminism, Latina, LGBT, Memoir, Writers

by Catherine Read

Transgender Non-Discrimination Policy – Inside Scoop

Catherine Read discusses the issues affecting the transgender community here in Virginia with guests James Parrish, Executive Director of Equality Virginia; Rev. Emma Chattin of Metropolitan Community Church; Roxanne Edwards, Co-Founder of Second Fridays and Fourth Fridays; Sara Simone of Fairfax; and Laura Curtis and her transgender teen Nathan. Topics range from business leadership on trans issues to school policies, legislative goals, the upcoming TIES Conference in October, and ongoing support for Virginia’s Trans Community. The path forward means codifying policies at the state and federal level that protect the transgender and gender non-conforming communities from discrimination in employment, housing, education and medical care.

Filed Under: Blogging, Equality for Virginia, Inside Scoop, Political, TV Shows, Virginia, Women Tagged With: Equality Virginia, James Parrish, LGBT, Trans Community, transgender

by Catherine Read

Raising My Rainbow: Adventures in Raising a Fabulous, Gender Creative Son

Raising My Rainbow(July 1, 2014) “Children are desperate to know that they are loved and accepted by their parents. You need to make the decision that your child’s happiness and safety is totally unrelated to his sexual orientation. The one place that kids cannot be afraid is in their homes.” – Judy Shepard, co-founder of the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

A wonderful book that should be read by every educator and anyone else who works with children. And parents. Definitely parents. I listened to the audiobook which was read by its author, Lori Duron. The book is based on her blog of the same name, “Raising My Rainbow.” It chronicles her journey with her gender non-conforming son CJ, his older brother Chase, her husband Matt, and their extended family and friends. She started the blog when she discovered in her extensive Google search that there was no information out there about pre-school boys who preferred all things girly. 

It’s heartbreaking at points as she helps her son Chase navigate relentless bullying at school because of his younger brother’s perceived sexual orientation. She describes how he handled a situation on the playground at the age of 7 when another child observed that his 4 year old brother liked to play with “girl toys.” His response was, “Yeah. He’s gender non-conforming.” And he went on with his play. Lori observes, “The bullies, predators, haters and gossips in life move in circles. They sniff out the smallest scent of fear and strike. When there is no fear, those people lose their power. Their power goes back to the rightful owner.” 
Read More

Filed Under: Equality for Virginia, Good Books, New Ideas Tagged With: gender non-conforming, LGBT, Lori Duron, pink boys, Raising My Rainbow, transgender

by Catherine Read

A Straight Ally: Traveling the Road toward Equality

Pride Flag The Highline NYC(Sept. 22, 2012) On Monday evening at Oakton High School, I’m sitting on a panel: Being a Straight Ally for Equality to talk about what it means to advocate for LGBT issues as an openly heterosexual person. The event moderator, Christopher Schaffer, asked me to send him a bio that he could read to introduce me to the audience.  This made me stop and think: What could I say about my journey from birth to “straight ally?”  Surely none of us are born playing that role.  At what point did I become a staunch outspoken activist for LGBT rights?

When I was in 8th grade, my parents split and my sister and I ended up Vinton, VA, with our mom (that’s in Roanoke County.)  My first day of school at William Byrd Middle School, in my first period Algebra I class, a boy named Gareth asked me if I was new, where I lived and where I came from. He was part of a close knit group of boys also in that same class who would become my life long friends. I met Gareth, Wayne, Jay, Stu, Monty, Keith and Jeff in August of 1975 and I consider them the family of my heart.  Three of them are gay.

Wm Byrd HS Brain Boys 1978Back in high school, gay people did not roam the halls in all their awesome gayness assured of acceptance by understanding teachers, administrators and students. We did not have GLEE, Modern Family or Ellen to model what it meant to be gay in America in the 1970s. Gay students were afraid. They lived in fear of others finding out.  My best friend Jeff – to this day I still consider him my best friend – shared that with me when he finally came out to me in our 30s. I couldn’t understand why Jeff didn’t tell me sooner – why he thought it would make a difference in our relationship.  But this is something I can never fully understand – I can never truly stand in his shoes and see the world the way he lived it in a hostile, unaccepting, homophobic world of Roanoke in the 1970s.Read More

Filed Under: Blogging, Equality for Virginia, Political Tagged With: equality, gay, LGBT, straight ally, transgender

Catherine S. Read
I believe in the power of community and the ability of one person to make a difference.

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